Monday, April 6, 2009

Warning this is just a rant.

April 6th, 2007 I got my official diagnosis of fibromyalgia. Which for those who are not that great with math, that makes it two years of having this. These past two years haven't been easy. Some days it has been hell, well make that most days. I'm normally able to just handle it on my own, but recently I've been getting tired of doing this on my own. Yes I have friends and family to help and encourage me along but I need that person who will be at my side to help me. That has been the hardest thing for me. I sometimes feel like did I do something so wrong that I have to do this on my own? I've learned that when my times I have no strength and I need to get through something, God gives me the strength to make it through, sometimes it does not happen.

This is also been a time to remember and learn how to take the little things as a blessing. I am truly excited when I can make it a whole day without having to take a nap, or even when I can walk around a store and not hurt. Some people can see my actions as selfish but I have to be. I need to take care of myself and put myself first. Someone once told me, "Love yourself before you can love others." I take that and run with it to say, "If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of others."

If I tell you I can't do it, I know I can't. Most times I push myself for other people and don't get the return I expect. So I am learning that I can't do that, it causes me more trouble than benefits.

Okay I have no idea where this is going. My mind is weird because of my pain meds. First hour or so after I take my meds, I get the "high" effect.

Well take care

1 comment:

Carlson Family said...

Lois, I hope this gets easier for you to handle. I am sorry you have to go through this. Just remember that God is walking by your side everyday even if it doesn't feel like it.