Sunday, March 22, 2009

void of emotions

Have you ever been just void of emotions?

That's how I feel today. I slept through church today. Its okay, I didn't have any obligations today. It was nice knowing no one was counting on me being there. I'm just trying to deal with some crap other than my FM. I've just lost a friend, no they didn't die or anything, we've just stopped talking for reasons unknown to me, but whatever. It just hard to deal with. I was really close to that person. Their loss not mine, they lost out on an amazing person.

I've been having better days, less down in the dumps. These past couple of days are just sad days.

I took Cayden into my room and he was sitting on my bed and I put up on the bed one of my Elephants. This elephant is from Disney Store and is all white. Cayden was all excited. Even during that time with him I was forcing a smile on my face.

People keep telling me that things will get better. I am just wondering, when will it happen? I am tired of waiting, tired of being hurt, tired of being stuck. I know I will become unstuck eventually. I just want to be free a little bit. People try to comfort me but it doesn't work. I don't want any pity party either. I just want to someone will be there, other than my friends and family. I am asking too much, that's all.

Well I'll update later.

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